Focusing on Input, not Output.

Sooo. I met someone, and the funny thing is we'd both lived in the same city for about five years until he moved here in january and i moved in july, and it took us a cross country move to meet, which jus tgoes to show that things happen for a reason cause had we met in Minneapolis, the timing would have been wrong, but now the timing is good and he excites me, and it all scares me cause its been fairy tale like perfect so far. Like when last night he made me dinner, since i was standing by watching he pulled me aside and we danced, and then we sat and studied together, and talked. Such a good friend so far too. It's been good, real good, and life is good.

TV Claudia.

CONGRATULATIONS to my friend Ben who has been offerred an internship at the UN in NY. I am SOOOOO Jealous and very happy for him.

So.....I feel like I have been drowning in all the things I do, not being a able to focus on anythign well enough to improve or to enjoy it, sooo I have decided to choose something to focus on each week. Obviously there are things I need to always like submit myself for auditions, i will be starting french lessons soon, i need to workout and go to dance class and so forth. But beginning this next week....I will be Claudia...the intellectual....and I think the week after that...Claudia the Musician. There.. And Erik inspired me to go for the job I want no matter how little time i have before i go to MN.

Note to all the friends I left behind and have ever left behind.....Being away from you....I have realized more than I already knew how wonderful you guys are and I miss you terribly.....

Today I worked as a PA for a TV production company. Twas fun, and they've invited me back....twice more.

PS> I have been cheating on my fast.

Swing dancer but not a swing voter.

TOnight I went swing dancing at the historic Derby Night club; I went to meet the director of the short/student film I am shooting in september, tony ( who i now have a crush on...is this bad?) Whatever happened to men wearing hats? I loved seeing them dance around spinning girls and things. This one older bald man asked me to dance and he flung me all over, doing some stpe that was very not swing, and then hugging me like a big bear and shaking me. He also dipped me several......several times and evern held me there upside down for a while. All good fun.


You know they (they who?) always said there would be tough times when pursuing an acting career, especially in LA, and they always talk about the lack of food the lack of money the lack of jobs. I am finding that the hardest part in my pursuit is all the in between stuff, like not being hard on myself, etc..

Georgey finally signed something good. the bill that allows employers to automatically enroll people in 401k plans. That way people who normally owuldnt, cause they have no idea what it is...can start saving for retirement....He still doesnt' get my vote though.

Can you believe it!

I completed writing a piece. Nuff Said.

A Break from Writing.

So if you want a "me", as I am sure many of you do...Apparently this is how you get "me". Hey, I didn't make it up. The quiz page said so.

How to make a Claudia Vazquez

Ingredients: 3 parts intelligence 5 parts ambition 1 part empathy

Method: Add to a cocktail shaker and mix vigorously. Add a little cocktail umbrella and a dash of fitness

Username:

Personality cocktail
From Go-Quiz.com

Neo was lucky.

Today I tried to write and study and I couldnt...I felt like my brain had been turned to poop. Everyday I feel like i am getting less and less intellgient and losing credibility, and I long for the days when I used to constantly be nurturing my mind. I feel like the moment I got here the ball started rolling and I havent been abel to stop it. And I keep trying make my life here, do the things I am accustomed to... like take dance and yoga, and take long walks and read, and all I can think about is how much I missed being an artist and creating, and constantly working and living life and I only wish I could have that here, in LA. But I can't; it's different and i know I have to put that behind me to be able to start my life here. I know that. But so far, the person I am here is not me to my full potential. It's me driving in traffic, and me spending time on the internet, and me thinking abotu the things I want to be doing, and me not doing them.

(Inside voice says: Calm down claudy, you've only just moved here, and it's a big move. Plus, you're still only 23 and though people like the Futurists were already big artists in their early twenties, it's 2006 and some people go into their thirties before their work really starts flourishing.)

I dont want to say I USED to play the guitar, or I USED to dance, or I USED to be a writer, or I USED to be an activist, or I USED to be healthy, or I USED to be smart. But dang it, it may have been easy for Leonardo and Mr Jefferson to be renaissance men in their day, but in these days of specialization it's a tad tougher to become renaissance woman.

I want to be hooked up to the machine Neo got plugged in to in the matrix and download all desired knowledge into my head.

Re-union with the ocean and an old friend....

I moved here six weeks ago form Minne-snow-duh, and I had not been to the beach.....until today. The beach, which i consider my most spiritual place to be....the beach -which is the quintessential image of warm places.....the beach - where you can be naked in your undies in public....

Jeremy, who I hadn't seen in five (six) years came to visit, and we had a great day there, ate some dippin dots, laid out for a while, me..convinced I would get a freckled tan because there was sand all over me..., watching a man clean and finish killing a little eel he caught. I didn't go in the water, because...as most of my friends know......i dont like fish, perhaps admiring their biological beauty from afar, but eating them....no, and defnitely not sharing the same space(or water with them), yuck. Me da bastante asco. I know...I am wierd.

I have a date this week. Hmm. We'll see. Maybe I will let myself like someone for a change. Really like someone. And if it happens....I can laugh about how I came home saying I met an annoying guy the first night I met him. He he. P/S too, I hate hate hate hate that people automatically expect negativity from people, like when I am working at the store and a customer has a problem or needs to work something out and they come in with these huffy puffy attitudes and they act like children while all i am trying to do is help them....Ibanga was right, (and boy does he know me...) I was never meant to work regular retail. Not when I know I could restructure the company to help it survive the american market, and all i am doing is ringing up crazy people who say racist things to my managers.

This is the ocean, as seen from my butt....

Here we are....those glasses are thanks to my flatmate Dara....:-)

You Can See Me!

About two minutes into the song there is a close-up flash of me dancing. And at the beginning when she walkes though the door there is a couple dancing in a corner, you can see my pale arm dancing about in the shadow. Very excited. There are other parts where I know its me, but its hard to see in this dark copied version, so look for me on TV!

I really shouldn't have...

SO tonight I met up with Mr. Wayne, who happened to be in LA from Vegas (break from the circus I guess.) and i saw Harris and Gabe from high school!!!! which was wild, but then Wayne took us to party over past where sunset and hollywood meet(the end of the world.) and all the way up a hill where a friend of his lives in a castle, which had the best view of los angeles and the skyline i have seen yet. This place was also being used to film a reality show, and to tape music videos, and apparently this guy plans the big ass parties as his job. Keith was this awesome man with suuuuper long dreads and a room where we all hung out and played accordians, mouth accordians, jembes, triangles and a huge gong at like 2 am. then wayne and me explored the place, i mean this place was crazzzzzzzzy amazing. WIth pools, and wells, and rooms, and grassy lawns and tennis courts all overlooking LA from the top of the hill. Overall a good night.

At HSPVA I was an actor not a dancer.

SO Today I went to Jazz 2 at the edge, and heheh, um, I can't dance like i used to. I mean I htought jazz 2 would be okay but no....I walke dout after the warmup, which I could do jsut fine, I just wasnt as felxible as the pre teen girls and, I knew the actual danc epart would be that much harder, so um, I am goign back tomorrow to the movement for actors class, to reconnect with my dance self after two years of no official dance class.

ON A MUCH MORE EXCITING NOTE>

Last night I hung out with a group of HSPVA friends for Courtney's bday. It was sooo greta being around them again. I love my HSPVA people, and i am glad we're all in the same city again. Here are some moments of the night....Highlights being, the picture where I look like a porn star, courtney carrying crippled rachel down the street, chris's bday lap dance for courtney.

Illegal Schmegal

QUOTED FROM AN ARTICLE IN THE NEW YORK TIMES>>> discussing the rapid growth of mexican americans in the South, specifically Georgia.

“The way the Mexicans have children, they’re going to have a majority here soon,” Mr. Corbitt, 76, said.

“I have children and grandchildren,” he said. “They’re going to become second-class citizens. And we’re going to be a third world country here if we don’t do something about it.”

FIRST OF ALL. There is no way we can become a third class country because of a rising number of Mexican Americans or Illegal immigrants, especially since they have been shown to improve the economy in many cases(particulary in the worlds third largest economy, California.) We would have to be thrown off the economic playing field which would require some act much greater.

SECONDLY. Why would his grandchildren become second class citizens? Are immigrants who are trying to improve their lives, find new and more prosperous work in the "land of opportunity" second class citizens because they have to start from the bottom and work their way up? Were Mr. Cornitt's ancestors second-class citizens, when -as immigrants- they did the same, in which cases we have all become second class citizens according to his logic.

THIRDLY. "The way Mexicans have children!" Probably the more obviously racist thing he said. My mom is Mexican- she had two. My grandma had 12...because she didn't use public sevices for healthcare or contraception. And she had most of them at home.

TO ALL OF YOU WHO THINK THAT MEXICANS COMPRISE THE MAJORITY OF ILLEGAL IMMIGRANTS IN THIS COUNTRY-

You're wrong. Most immigrants are not from Latin America. The majority are from Canada, Europe, Asia, and India and they have come here legally but overstayed their visas. A lesser percentage is made up of those crossing th river. I mean it's not as easy as it sounds. For a mexican to even get a visa to visit it costs 150 dollars to apply, and then they have to be approved, which doesnt always happen. And.....if they choose to do it by crossing over, often they drown or get killed, or get separated from their families. All the while, Mr. who knows who is flyign over from asia to work for some country, visa acquired through said company, then decides to stay a little longer, so he's illegal, and uses public services, and blah blah blah all the other bad things illegals do, and then the mexicans get blamed. get over it you ameri-nazis! when our country is doing nothing about the mess in the MIddle east right now, which is surprising because it usually likes the act like a meddlign mother in every other case.

What Am I Doing With My Time?

This is the story of a girl who always knew was she was about, who knew she wanted to work in government or with a human rights organization and go back to grad school for law or public policy, but was going about it in arealllllllllllly roundabout way.

This is the story of a girl who moved out to LA as a transition to grad school because last fall she realized her art (and a very successful artist career in Mpls) did not fulfill her.

This is the story of the girl who moved to LA and got so caught up in teh excitement of the entertainment industry that she forgot for a second what she was about- forgot about her brain, her concern for those in need an sufferring, and what she is actually capable of.

So now what? That's exactly what I have been asking myself. ANd also why I haven't blogged- I've been going through some serious re-prioritization. I got so lost and excited in LA-ness that I forgot how much it's not what I want to end up doing. But I also don't want to give up so easily something I am good at, something i know i can seceed in, and something I have spent so long preparing for. It just doesn't seem like enough to me to desire to be on TV shows, which I don't even watch, when there are people dying in Lebanon, or when women are being murdered in Guatemala for standing up for their rights, or when there are congressman trying to keep minimun wage down regardless fo the crazy inflation in this country. At the same time. I LOOOOVe beign an artist, and now that I am starting to watch TV, i mean, it's good, and I did just get the lead role in a student short. It's been like this for a while. One week I want to be Senator Vazquez, the next week Claudia Estrella. I am just really trying to figure life out right now, livign every moment and siezing every opportunity becuase I dont' want to look back when I am eighty and say I wish i had tried this or that.

Other than that....

Go see LIttle Miss Sunshine...It's hilarious.

Pdiddy Video premieres August tenth on BET I think.

Cleveland's here now; funny how we stopped dating cause I was moving to LA and now he's here too. :-) I joke with him telling him he followed me here. He honestly didn't. It just worked out that way for his career.