Tomorrow is my first audition in a week...I keep telling myself it's because i haven't joined SAG...but I keep seeing friends who aren't SAG book guest spots on TV...So that can't be....but comparing in this business....oh such a vicious cycle. It hadn't occurred to me until today that I hadn't had an audition because I've been up to so much else!
I ran into my long lost voice teacher at the gym, coincidentally as we sat right next to each other in cycle class at the gym. She was long lost because I could no longer afford her... but now we're trading services. And I am more than excited to start voice training again with a Sondheim audition at the end of the month. And even more exciting, perhaps I can start writing music now, as promised, with my now iPhone application Business Partner who was originally my Craigslist-found Spanish Guitarist for my gig at the Hive.
And today, I filed for Candidate Status to once again run for Neighborhood Council. Why would I want to volunteer all those free hours again? Well, because I love my community that much. Silver Lake makes it possible for me to bear Los Angeles. I truly believe that people who hate LA, learn to Love it when they find the community that belongs to them, that connects with their desires for a home. Silver Lake is that for me. So much so that I've become that girl trying to get stop signs put in on my corner intersection because the drivers are always speeding, and it's dangerous for pedestrians. I've become that girl.
LIstening to Hector Elizondo the other night at the Michael Laskin Studio was inspiring. He's such a gracious, passionate man. Listening to him was good affirmation that I'm right on track...because even though i haven't auditioned in a week, I'm doing all those things that make me a complete person, citizen, and artist. And that is enough...
Friday, January 15, 2010
Friday, January 01, 2010
First Things First
Ive been moving into the apartment across the hall all day ( i love moving, i really do), and I got this sudden feeling that I was going to be alone: as I folded my intimate apparel, tucking it into my flower lined drawer, hung my Audrey frame over my teal writing desk, I periodically reminded myself that it was the New Year! and things were supposed to be different.
I never believed in resolutions, because I never believed New Year's Day was any different than any other, and if I wanted to change my life there was no point in waiting for that day to do it. But this year, perhaps because it's been such a trying year, this year I felt such a strong longing for today and what this new number would bring. What kept frustrating me as I put my things in my new place was that I knew nothing would be different if I didn't make it different, and suddenly I felt compelled to make a list of things I wanted to do. And so I discovered the "Resolution." And if it wasn't that I discovered the Resolution on the day I was moving into a smaller cheaper apartment, I probably wouldn't have felt as compelled to make them. I don't even know what they will be...I'm making them up now because I can't continue to move things with such anxiety....
in no particular order...
A) Spend less time alone- I am very good at being alone, but I love the company of those I love, and I need to make more of an effort to "see" people...
B) Live like an artist- maybe ill finally finish my painting? or the writing projects I began last year...or live the way I used to live where everything was so beautiful and the smallest moment or object could be the source of inspiration and pleasure.
C) Get back on track with my health- I've been poor these past few months and have really let go...
D) Get a job- you know, i don't know about this one. I know I need to get a job. But as soon as I thought about it I thought...well make acting my job...and then I remembered that despite being day-job-less, last year my main source of income was from acting...so I guess the real goal this year is realllllly go after it fiercely...
E) I wanna be in a relationship- I said that for myself last year, but I think it was a year of just letting go, and enjoying moments as they came, but it would be nice to cultivate a relationship with a romantic partner :)
F) Spend more time on my community- I want to run for SLNC again when elections come up in March, and I want to do a better job at it.
G)Apply for grad school.....could this finally be the year???
H)
And because I really don't believe in Resolutions..more will probably surface. OOh like, make my bed, be tidy, and put things back where they belong. I tell myself those everyday.
I never believed in resolutions, because I never believed New Year's Day was any different than any other, and if I wanted to change my life there was no point in waiting for that day to do it. But this year, perhaps because it's been such a trying year, this year I felt such a strong longing for today and what this new number would bring. What kept frustrating me as I put my things in my new place was that I knew nothing would be different if I didn't make it different, and suddenly I felt compelled to make a list of things I wanted to do. And so I discovered the "Resolution." And if it wasn't that I discovered the Resolution on the day I was moving into a smaller cheaper apartment, I probably wouldn't have felt as compelled to make them. I don't even know what they will be...I'm making them up now because I can't continue to move things with such anxiety....
in no particular order...
A) Spend less time alone- I am very good at being alone, but I love the company of those I love, and I need to make more of an effort to "see" people...
B) Live like an artist- maybe ill finally finish my painting? or the writing projects I began last year...or live the way I used to live where everything was so beautiful and the smallest moment or object could be the source of inspiration and pleasure.
C) Get back on track with my health- I've been poor these past few months and have really let go...
D) Get a job- you know, i don't know about this one. I know I need to get a job. But as soon as I thought about it I thought...well make acting my job...and then I remembered that despite being day-job-less, last year my main source of income was from acting...so I guess the real goal this year is realllllly go after it fiercely...
E) I wanna be in a relationship- I said that for myself last year, but I think it was a year of just letting go, and enjoying moments as they came, but it would be nice to cultivate a relationship with a romantic partner :)
F) Spend more time on my community- I want to run for SLNC again when elections come up in March, and I want to do a better job at it.
G)Apply for grad school.....could this finally be the year???
H)
And because I really don't believe in Resolutions..more will probably surface. OOh like, make my bed, be tidy, and put things back where they belong. I tell myself those everyday.
Thursday, December 31, 2009
Saturday, December 26, 2009
My artist life update in a recession world...
I vowed to start blogging again this past year, and now I have made it my New Years Resolution (even though I don't believe in those), and because I really don't believe in those I'm starting right now, today.
I'm back in LA after holidays in Texas, trying to figure out how to make things happen this last week of the year when nothing is getting done really.
I have an overnight rehearsal tonight at Disneyland since I'm a Host for their New Year's Event tonight, which means I have to pack for a few nights in the OC...and also for moving! It's been a year of recession style living...making my own yogurt, sharing a Tamal, a single Tamal with someone, and I thought eventually ending up as a couch-surfer. Mais non! I am moving across the hall to a cheaper and awesome studio, really only missing the view from my current apartment, but it's a sacrifice worth making since I still owe Equity Dues and need to eat (though less, or at least healthier).
Yesterday was our Executive Committee Meeting on the SLNC. Elections are coming up in March and we're thinking of piloting a progressive, new system for voting. Find out more by coming to our meeting next Wednesday night.
That's the news...well that and getting a job (though I'm freelancing in Viral Marketing and Branding-so if you need some help email me!), but as my agent assured me on Facebook...Pilot season is coming up!
I'm back in LA after holidays in Texas, trying to figure out how to make things happen this last week of the year when nothing is getting done really.
I have an overnight rehearsal tonight at Disneyland since I'm a Host for their New Year's Event tonight, which means I have to pack for a few nights in the OC...and also for moving! It's been a year of recession style living...making my own yogurt, sharing a Tamal, a single Tamal with someone, and I thought eventually ending up as a couch-surfer. Mais non! I am moving across the hall to a cheaper and awesome studio, really only missing the view from my current apartment, but it's a sacrifice worth making since I still owe Equity Dues and need to eat (though less, or at least healthier).
Yesterday was our Executive Committee Meeting on the SLNC. Elections are coming up in March and we're thinking of piloting a progressive, new system for voting. Find out more by coming to our meeting next Wednesday night.
That's the news...well that and getting a job (though I'm freelancing in Viral Marketing and Branding-so if you need some help email me!), but as my agent assured me on Facebook...Pilot season is coming up!
Friday, September 18, 2009
And again...
I'm blogging again...how many times can I blog about that? Well this is about the fourth. But this is a good time to start again.
First of all, before I left to work for Obama last year pre-mr-president, my friend Andy and I were working on producing a webcast called "Claudia the Know-it-all," thus producing those fabulous photos of me cooking up a batch of knowledge stew, and ironing out some Dali. Well, as you can imagine, it's a busy time getting a man elected, and life-changing, but a year later I am finally ready again to continue my dream of becoming Oprah. I am not supposed to admit that am I. I mean my pursuit of knowledge and wisdom (something my friend Steve I would never be satisfied with because I would never achieve it completely..hmph.) So I'll be posting periodic little videos that I do myself. So bear with me, I sometimes cannot figure out my camera (how hard is it right?). I have recorded three shows as it is and haven't figured out how to edit the sound. But posts to come soon.
Second...one of my favorite teachers at Uni, Kenny, used to tell me he loved me because I was a walking pile of contradictions...usually referring to my ability to be brutal and strong in work but completely emotional and messy in life. So aside from my little weblogs, I'll be blogging again about my life, which contrasts my wannabe intellectual, professional, business, audrey hepburn adoring persona with passionate emotions, sometimes slightly unreasonable thought and opinions, a courting life my friends say I should write a book about, and general life messiness and joys.
Of course, there won't be too much gossip and scandal about me (it's gotten me in trouble before even though I was trying hard to conceal it), and because, well that's my business. But I'm pretty open about letting people in my life, and sharing this crazy wonderful strange life I live and am thankful for. and so that's that. I'm blogging again.
First of all, before I left to work for Obama last year pre-mr-president, my friend Andy and I were working on producing a webcast called "Claudia the Know-it-all," thus producing those fabulous photos of me cooking up a batch of knowledge stew, and ironing out some Dali. Well, as you can imagine, it's a busy time getting a man elected, and life-changing, but a year later I am finally ready again to continue my dream of becoming Oprah. I am not supposed to admit that am I. I mean my pursuit of knowledge and wisdom (something my friend Steve I would never be satisfied with because I would never achieve it completely..hmph.) So I'll be posting periodic little videos that I do myself. So bear with me, I sometimes cannot figure out my camera (how hard is it right?). I have recorded three shows as it is and haven't figured out how to edit the sound. But posts to come soon.
Second...one of my favorite teachers at Uni, Kenny, used to tell me he loved me because I was a walking pile of contradictions...usually referring to my ability to be brutal and strong in work but completely emotional and messy in life. So aside from my little weblogs, I'll be blogging again about my life, which contrasts my wannabe intellectual, professional, business, audrey hepburn adoring persona with passionate emotions, sometimes slightly unreasonable thought and opinions, a courting life my friends say I should write a book about, and general life messiness and joys.
Of course, there won't be too much gossip and scandal about me (it's gotten me in trouble before even though I was trying hard to conceal it), and because, well that's my business. But I'm pretty open about letting people in my life, and sharing this crazy wonderful strange life I live and am thankful for. and so that's that. I'm blogging again.
Friday, June 06, 2008
Tuesday, January 08, 2008
Everything is Illuminated
Lately, it has become increasingly obvious what my life is about: it's about telling stories, giving people a voice, increasing the volume on my own voice, creating voices. It's almost as if it has been ingrained in the fabric of the time points in my life and I've just had to start connecting the dots to make me aware of the picture-though that picture is still being sketched. The dots all fit perfect:
dot 1) I was a writer of stories when I was a wee kid-leading mom to put me in creative writing camp at age 9.
dot 2) Dad taught me about storytelling by telling me stories every night growing up.
dot 3) I'm a taurus, born under the sign associated with the throat and the voice.
dot 4) Out of all the art forms I practice, I chose storytelling to be my main focus...now being a writer, and actor, and hopefully a director and producer.
dot 4) I started pursuing voice and speech coaching in college.
dot 5) I am a singer
dot 6) I have a strong desire to be an activist, thus helping others have their voices heard.
dot 7) I have been chosen and invited to speak publicly on several occasions: church, youth groups, the chairman of the Environmental committee in the Washington WOrkshops, Sitting on the HISD superintendents Ad Hoc Advisory Council, Commencement speaker.
dot 8) Though not for long, I serve as the voice for a weekly NPR program.
dot 9) well there are many more dots, and they are just as out of order as the previous list, but you get the connect-the-dot picture yeah?
I met a woman while in transition from Paris to London on the Eurostar last week. I meet people like this often-as if it had been planned out as a screenplay or a previously written story (this is actually physically true as I am reading in my new physics book of choice, anywho). I am sitting in my window seat, and accross I see this woman. Something tells me "talk to her. Talk to her." But I don't: I choose to look at my split ends. That didn't matter to the universe, because eventually she got ousted from her choice of seats by people who were assigned to them, causing her to come to my aisle seat and ask to sit next to me. I had no choice: I spoke to her. I will call her Kiwi as she is from New Zealand. Her story....After some tough times, and several jobs that weren't fulfilling her, she followed her passion to study photography in Paris. She had been resisting her own little voice too, pushing off the idea to move around the world to a new country where she didn't know the language and had to sell her home etc. But she did it. We spoke for the entire trip, about life, about "following our bliss" and she helped give me the courage again to follow what my father always taught me: "Do what you love and the money will come." In fact, she told me the exact same words, and my face lit up, hearing someone say those words who was practicing them. Her face, her eyes, were full of light, of peace, of joy and of comfort that I found inspiring, reassuring.
One of the last things we spoke of was this: Most of us walk around, existing only as pieces of ourselves at a time, rather than as all we are about, all we are. Mostly because many don't know who that is. Others, because we aren't asked of it in our work places, at home...or denied it, or judged otherwise. But I decided that moment, sitting next to my kiwi friend that I would once again assemble my entire self and move through life so that people know who I am when they meet me, my whole self...just as I did that one day in ken's acting class...the time I felt the most whole ever.
Before I left for London I watched this film "Everything's Illuminated." Elijah Wood, as some american character, returns to Ukraine to research his grandparent's past, their lives prior and during World War II. He finds the sister of his granfather's finacee, who has buried her engagement ring in the river of a town that was soon after shot down by the Nazi's. She was one of the murdered...she and her unborn child. He asks the sister, why do you think she buried the ring? He thought it was because she knew someone would come back looking for her. The sister said, no, it's for proof that she existed.
I once wrote in my writing class, that I write, I tell stories, partly, to prove my existence. I want to light up, to have an illuminated life like my friend on the train.
dot 1) I was a writer of stories when I was a wee kid-leading mom to put me in creative writing camp at age 9.
dot 2) Dad taught me about storytelling by telling me stories every night growing up.
dot 3) I'm a taurus, born under the sign associated with the throat and the voice.
dot 4) Out of all the art forms I practice, I chose storytelling to be my main focus...now being a writer, and actor, and hopefully a director and producer.
dot 4) I started pursuing voice and speech coaching in college.
dot 5) I am a singer
dot 6) I have a strong desire to be an activist, thus helping others have their voices heard.
dot 7) I have been chosen and invited to speak publicly on several occasions: church, youth groups, the chairman of the Environmental committee in the Washington WOrkshops, Sitting on the HISD superintendents Ad Hoc Advisory Council, Commencement speaker.
dot 8) Though not for long, I serve as the voice for a weekly NPR program.
dot 9) well there are many more dots, and they are just as out of order as the previous list, but you get the connect-the-dot picture yeah?
I met a woman while in transition from Paris to London on the Eurostar last week. I meet people like this often-as if it had been planned out as a screenplay or a previously written story (this is actually physically true as I am reading in my new physics book of choice, anywho). I am sitting in my window seat, and accross I see this woman. Something tells me "talk to her. Talk to her." But I don't: I choose to look at my split ends. That didn't matter to the universe, because eventually she got ousted from her choice of seats by people who were assigned to them, causing her to come to my aisle seat and ask to sit next to me. I had no choice: I spoke to her. I will call her Kiwi as she is from New Zealand. Her story....After some tough times, and several jobs that weren't fulfilling her, she followed her passion to study photography in Paris. She had been resisting her own little voice too, pushing off the idea to move around the world to a new country where she didn't know the language and had to sell her home etc. But she did it. We spoke for the entire trip, about life, about "following our bliss" and she helped give me the courage again to follow what my father always taught me: "Do what you love and the money will come." In fact, she told me the exact same words, and my face lit up, hearing someone say those words who was practicing them. Her face, her eyes, were full of light, of peace, of joy and of comfort that I found inspiring, reassuring.
One of the last things we spoke of was this: Most of us walk around, existing only as pieces of ourselves at a time, rather than as all we are about, all we are. Mostly because many don't know who that is. Others, because we aren't asked of it in our work places, at home...or denied it, or judged otherwise. But I decided that moment, sitting next to my kiwi friend that I would once again assemble my entire self and move through life so that people know who I am when they meet me, my whole self...just as I did that one day in ken's acting class...the time I felt the most whole ever.
Before I left for London I watched this film "Everything's Illuminated." Elijah Wood, as some american character, returns to Ukraine to research his grandparent's past, their lives prior and during World War II. He finds the sister of his granfather's finacee, who has buried her engagement ring in the river of a town that was soon after shot down by the Nazi's. She was one of the murdered...she and her unborn child. He asks the sister, why do you think she buried the ring? He thought it was because she knew someone would come back looking for her. The sister said, no, it's for proof that she existed.
I once wrote in my writing class, that I write, I tell stories, partly, to prove my existence. I want to light up, to have an illuminated life like my friend on the train.
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