Cara de Chancla number 3 is born.

There's a necklace that hangs around my neck that I bought as a symbol to nnot be so quick to give away my spirit, my heart, my self....and some how I'd ignored it for a while (perhaps I need to hang it in front of my eyes) and I have let myself once again get caught up in being overly hopeful to find companionship- not a serious relationship, not marraige, not ooh this feels good love- just a companion.

That said...Tv guy is out of the picture romantically...due to the fact that he does still have some growing up to do and I feel slightly disrespected by him for reasons I won't express. I need to focus on my creative journey again- so I am forcing myself to do the artist way, though I haven't written morning pages in days...and I am more than excited to see my Breaking Ice people next week, to actually be a performer again.

Ben told me not to write a blog about our weekend till he left, but I knew the stuff that came up today would end up taking over, but enough said about all that....here's more about my fabulous weekend with Ben! who came to visit me from Minneapolis.

Friday night.
Ben arrives. We eat a delicious meal at Bassa Nova. Here he is smiley after eating perfect plantains.


Saturday.
We wake up and have a great Urth cafe Breakfast, walk back down Melrose, and then drive up to American Apparrel where he buys the most obnoxious neon colored shirt (which you see me grimacing at below) and where I buy A hot pink dress which the gay salesman taught me to wear in eight different styles. Gotta love polyester cotton.

Then we head on over to the walk of fame and to Grauman's Chinese theatre where you can see all the cemented hands and feet. This did not excite Ben as much as I had hoped, so we got some Coffee Bean, tried to do some shopping and then took off. I got call Catherine Zeta by some random man on the street. On the Sta. Monica Promenade I got called J-lo. Whats all this about. Next we ran off to the La Brea Tarpits where we had a nice walk and sit in the sun, as picture la-bas.

Those Prada glasses are not mine, theyre Ben's.
Then we go home and get allll dressed up to go to Spago, Wolfgang Puck's Restaurant in Beverly Hills. It was the most amazing dinner I have had. Not to mention the free cookie plate we got in the end which included the best chocolate chip cookie i have ever had....thank you wolfgang. The whole night I decided to be called Bianca and I spoke in an accent which was a mix of French and Spanish. Ben indulged me. It was great. He even indulged me when I had my horrible this-dress-doesnt-fit-the-same-moment.

This is us miserably full afterward...



Sunday...
We had brunch in Venice with Lars and Courtney, but have no pics of that cause I forgot the came. However....It was a wonderful day in venice. AFter brunch we strolled through the farmer's market where there was a little french band playing (could my life be written like a screenplay any more than it is?) and then we came accross the planet blue sale, yikes for my wallet, and then headed towards the beach to lay out. The highlight was strolling down the boardwalk and seeing all the wild people like the man in a speedo collecting money, anti columbus day protesters, a video game set that had 76000 games like super mario bros and donkey kong for only 30 bucks which i almost bought. And most importantly the henna tatoo I have been wanting....pictured below.


And finally, as if we hadnt eaten enough....We went to Marrakesh with Dara, my roomate, and had a marvelous morroccan meal.



That last picture is of me and Gloria, stars of the short film Foreign Currency.

Y Colorinm, colorado, este cuento se ha acabado. tan tan.

Rome fell.

I was listening to NPR this morning and they had interviewed some Republicans in regard to what's happened with Foley and his naught chats with young paiges, and they said that no matter what he did, they will still vote republican, continuing to vote for their conservative representatives because what Foley did does not speak for the whole party.

Now weh, weh, weh weh wait.
If anyone sets the example of what it means to be a member of a party its our representatives(the ones with respectivd parties at least.) Their actions, and decisions are what define what it is to be identified by a party, whether we like it or not, (i mean if you don't like it dont claim a party....i don't most of the time.) And yeah, what they do in their personals lives is besides the point, after all I do think they made too big of a deal out of Clinton in comparison to what Bush has done without admonishment...but the republicans have been doing all sorts of crap this past term so if this Foley thing doesnt change their minds then what in the world has to happen! Already we've had, murder, war, racism, bribery, lies, cover ups, and now Bush wants tot take away fair trial from detainees, I mean c'mon! And no offense family who reads this, I love you too much but am still confused as how to smart bright people like you support a party like that. WHAT WILL IT TAKE!

Republicans used to stand for smaller government; looks like party priorities have shifted quite a bit.

The problem with meeting up with friends is that I eat incessantly.

I finally took a day to recover myself....It was simple and good, and filled with inspiration and good moments with friends. Cleaning my room, I mean realllly cleaning it out, always leaves me in a good place, sorta like a mini new years, where I can start all over, anew. And Dara and I had the best sorbet I have ever had in my life at Boule. I had the Rose Raspberry with the Venezuelan Rum and Chocolate. MMMM. I also went to Gloria's game party night ( I get sooo competitive during games... I mean it...I have never lost a game of RISK.) And then had some dinner with Dara, her friend Nadine, and Nadine's friends who's name escapes me- but he was very cute. :-)

Life is really beautiful at the moment. I am at a place where I am starting to create again, and think and breathe creatively, and really sense a connection to God at even the simplest moments in the day...and that brings me joy, confidence, and peace. The truth is....regardless of all the silly little things that happen in my life-like my uncertainty about Mr.TV, my lack of income, my lack of time for working out, or my stress at work....I am always in a place where I know in the bigger picture...everything is going to be okay. And if it's not- well, as in Kabbalist thought- the Universe is balancing out.

Adam and Ellie...Perfect couple or what? Their kids are going to be painfully beautiful.
Me and Ellie with Chubs, her new pup.
My clean room, with the new cover.
My apartment, for those of you who would like to see where I live.
Gloria and me at her little soiree.

Popstarz!

Last night I get a call from Chase Korte, who I hadn't seen in about a year, and who just got back from walking accross Great Britain, literally. So I invite dhim to come out with me and justin who had been planning to get together anyway. So we headed out to Popstarz...and look at the fun that was had...

Le science de la Reve.

It's been a while since I have come out of a movie feeling joy and inspiration. But tonight...I saw The science of dreams, and life is a little different now. In my eyes, that film is a work of art, i mean ART. And if theres a film that is refelctive of how my brain works, this is one.

Are you surprised?

Today I put in the mail a letter to the Guthrie stating I will not be returning to understudy for Edgardo Mine....
Yes. That is my decision. As much as I want to see all my friends, I can always go back to visit, but I need to commit to my life and career here if I want it to work....not be tentative..you know. I need to be available these first months, for my new agent and the work I hope to get, because if I am not here, already I won't be able to get it. I also need to learn how to be an artist, and live the life I want here, and not escape everytime it gets rough. I am staying here. Je suis ici.

After a Long Day,....

When you are so meticulous in trying to make plans and make things work and then have entire workday of crazy mishaps(including locking your keys in the office late at night while trying to return shooting equipment.), you kinda have to loosen up by doing crazy spontaneous things, like Betsy coming to han gout with me at the office after mario came and unlocked the doors for me. Bets had a cravign to smoke ( or pretend spoke) clove cigarettes, because she doesnt inhale, and I needed a break and chocolate, so we headed for teh 24 hour starbucks for some coffee, fake smoking of clove cigarettes (erik laughed at how big of dorks we were.) and betsy gave me caramel cookies to dunk in the macchiato. We looked like idiots holding in the smoke to look like we were really doing it. Aaah, a good night of funni-ness.

Godo music.

I had myself a good cry today: Blake Minor's dad died yesterday, his mom having died earlier this year, and I couldn't help but think of the day I would lose my parents, my wonderful parents. It's beautiful when you start looking at the way the universe moves itself, the wya life balances out, becoming sensitive to the patterns and the music as opposed to individual occurrences. I have been reading about string theory....The smallest compriser of stuff they theorize are tiny one dimmensional vibrating strings, sort of like a quantum symphony, and that is what comprises all physical matter. We are composed of vibrating bands. Music. And my life, with its ups and downs, joys and griefs, has been playing a sort of jazz. A jazz that jars me awake with death, and puts me to sleep with love. Or at least a new "love." One that makes me happy and passionate. And if it doesnt go beyond this measure of my life.......on to the next movement right?

I am actually in the midst of figruing out what the theme of the next movement is...
I have been offerred a really good deal at Vantage poitn productions....pays well, plus I signed and agent this week...and I am beginning ot wonder if going back to the Guthrie is a good idea or not.

The question is...Do I want to pursue producing, directing and writing....?
Or do I honor my contract with the G, and take the opportunity to see all my wonderful friends?

As Promised.

I said I would put up the web address to my target.com spot when it came out.
Just so you know, the wardrobe people had bought everything big so i look pretty frumpy, and the lady who did my hair...well you'll see...

http://sites.target.com/site/en/corporate/page.jsp?contentId=PRD03-002477

go there and click on the Design link. Then you click on my silhouette.

Voila mon amix!

Ay AY AY

I missed it.
I missed Mexico's independence day...and consequently my grandmother's birthday.
And she lives in Mexico.
Well....Happy Mexican independence.

I've got a second. A second.

SO sorry dear readers for not having written as often as I did in Minneapolis. Not because there is nothing going on in my LA life, but because I am constantly moving, not having much time to just sit and write. But anyhow....

Here's the brief summary of late:

1. CA just passed the no cell phones while driving law.
2. I have a crush on a co-worker at the TV office.3. I havent cleaned my room and its a dreadful mess.
4. I quit Zara, did I mention that already?
5. I continue filming tomorrow.
6. I start auditioning classes and met some awesome people (the guy who's lindsey lohan's love interest in Just my Luck is int he class with me, including a kinda annoying 18 yr old really greeeen young wannabe actress. ah, not annoying, just young.)
7. VINCENT FINALLY GOT KICKED OFF PROJECT RUNWAY< PRAISE THE LORD.

More to come...

La vie est belle.

I had a pretty great weekend.

We started shooting Foreign Currency this weekend, where I play the lead in a short film about trafficking women, and it was a good time. Cast and crew were godo people, and....well, I am seeing the director, not just with my eyes but in real life. SO it was comfortable to work with him, except i felt a lot of pressure in my own mind to do well because I didnt want to mess up the movie of someone i cared about. I think it will do well. Houstonians: he's thinking of submitting it to a texas film festival so you may be able to see it. I am still amazed at how many minnesotans i meet here.

Afterword I cam home to a roomate and a puppy. Dara's bene dog sitting a petite chienne que s'appelle Daisy. So cute and adorable, and we had a good time walking her around the block as I spoke evry bit of French I knew because......

This morning I had my first french lesson! Which went very well. I want to speak it beacoup. I guess I taught myself pretty well, says the teacher too, and I actually know a little more than what the level requires. I mess up like evryone else but I think a trip in Paris is in order in the near future, to practice, you know.

Also waiting to hear back when I start working at the TV office again, since I quit Zara. very exciting stuff. En generale, Life is good.

I am making this face now.

No... nothign smells bad, I just have a grain of rice stuck up my nasal passage.

Things have been looking up, and I feel I am narrowing in on what I am supposed to do with my near future life, maybe. I will begin by saying i have been given keys to the tv production office ( i am somewhat official now!) Hmmm. I have always said i want to create and produce work......so why am i not doing that.

I think I ate bad cheese. this is the end of the blog. I want to go curl up in pain.

Blink.

I went home for two days this weekend, primarily for my cousin Chris's wedding. It went by too fast, but it was a good weekend.

I got to see my BFF Amanda and her BF Brian. I miss her so much and I look forward to the day when we live in the same city again. Well they were kind enough to invite me along to dinner with Brian's cousins, who (by the way) are such a genetically beautiful family, and super nice and fun to be around. Definitely a good night, the highlight being that I got to spend time with my girl. His cousins are also friends with the Bagwell's (as in Baseball) and apparently I look like Jeff's wife Erica.

Amanda-email me the pics so I can post one, even the ones you dont like...:-)

Also, Congratulations to Ellie who got engaged last week in Monaco Princess Grace style!
I predict the order of engagements will go Ellie then Amanda then Lindsey then me. Amanda thinks I am next. Maybe it will be Lindsey.....hmmm. Let's wait and see. ALso congrats to my cousin Areli who is now engaged!

Next day...saw my great grandma and my great aunt, who were telling me the only words they could speak in English after 35 years of living here, and several years of citizenship (those words were coffee, milk, and window.).

THEN....Chris and Andrea's wedding. May the pics speak for how much fun it was to be around everyone.


IF the slide show doesnt come up try clicking the question mark,.

Focusing on Input, not Output.

Sooo. I met someone, and the funny thing is we'd both lived in the same city for about five years until he moved here in january and i moved in july, and it took us a cross country move to meet, which jus tgoes to show that things happen for a reason cause had we met in Minneapolis, the timing would have been wrong, but now the timing is good and he excites me, and it all scares me cause its been fairy tale like perfect so far. Like when last night he made me dinner, since i was standing by watching he pulled me aside and we danced, and then we sat and studied together, and talked. Such a good friend so far too. It's been good, real good, and life is good.

TV Claudia.

CONGRATULATIONS to my friend Ben who has been offerred an internship at the UN in NY. I am SOOOOO Jealous and very happy for him.

So.....I feel like I have been drowning in all the things I do, not being a able to focus on anythign well enough to improve or to enjoy it, sooo I have decided to choose something to focus on each week. Obviously there are things I need to always like submit myself for auditions, i will be starting french lessons soon, i need to workout and go to dance class and so forth. But beginning this next week....I will be Claudia...the intellectual....and I think the week after that...Claudia the Musician. There.. And Erik inspired me to go for the job I want no matter how little time i have before i go to MN.

Note to all the friends I left behind and have ever left behind.....Being away from you....I have realized more than I already knew how wonderful you guys are and I miss you terribly.....

Today I worked as a PA for a TV production company. Twas fun, and they've invited me back....twice more.

PS> I have been cheating on my fast.

Swing dancer but not a swing voter.

TOnight I went swing dancing at the historic Derby Night club; I went to meet the director of the short/student film I am shooting in september, tony ( who i now have a crush on...is this bad?) Whatever happened to men wearing hats? I loved seeing them dance around spinning girls and things. This one older bald man asked me to dance and he flung me all over, doing some stpe that was very not swing, and then hugging me like a big bear and shaking me. He also dipped me several......several times and evern held me there upside down for a while. All good fun.


You know they (they who?) always said there would be tough times when pursuing an acting career, especially in LA, and they always talk about the lack of food the lack of money the lack of jobs. I am finding that the hardest part in my pursuit is all the in between stuff, like not being hard on myself, etc..

Georgey finally signed something good. the bill that allows employers to automatically enroll people in 401k plans. That way people who normally owuldnt, cause they have no idea what it is...can start saving for retirement....He still doesnt' get my vote though.

Can you believe it!

I completed writing a piece. Nuff Said.

A Break from Writing.

So if you want a "me", as I am sure many of you do...Apparently this is how you get "me". Hey, I didn't make it up. The quiz page said so.

How to make a Claudia Vazquez

Ingredients: 3 parts intelligence 5 parts ambition 1 part empathy

Method: Add to a cocktail shaker and mix vigorously. Add a little cocktail umbrella and a dash of fitness

Username:

Personality cocktail
From Go-Quiz.com

Neo was lucky.

Today I tried to write and study and I couldnt...I felt like my brain had been turned to poop. Everyday I feel like i am getting less and less intellgient and losing credibility, and I long for the days when I used to constantly be nurturing my mind. I feel like the moment I got here the ball started rolling and I havent been abel to stop it. And I keep trying make my life here, do the things I am accustomed to... like take dance and yoga, and take long walks and read, and all I can think about is how much I missed being an artist and creating, and constantly working and living life and I only wish I could have that here, in LA. But I can't; it's different and i know I have to put that behind me to be able to start my life here. I know that. But so far, the person I am here is not me to my full potential. It's me driving in traffic, and me spending time on the internet, and me thinking abotu the things I want to be doing, and me not doing them.

(Inside voice says: Calm down claudy, you've only just moved here, and it's a big move. Plus, you're still only 23 and though people like the Futurists were already big artists in their early twenties, it's 2006 and some people go into their thirties before their work really starts flourishing.)

I dont want to say I USED to play the guitar, or I USED to dance, or I USED to be a writer, or I USED to be an activist, or I USED to be healthy, or I USED to be smart. But dang it, it may have been easy for Leonardo and Mr Jefferson to be renaissance men in their day, but in these days of specialization it's a tad tougher to become renaissance woman.

I want to be hooked up to the machine Neo got plugged in to in the matrix and download all desired knowledge into my head.