Oh dear.

Throughout the day I have been slowly remembering things I said last night, that perhaps I wouldn't have said had I not been under the influence of Frambuesa mojitos. Here's a few:
1. To Kurt (while the girl he's seeing is accross the bar) "Kurt, I had a crush on you." This one isn't a big deal I suppose, unless youconsider I work with him, and will see him bright and early and sober tomorrow morning.

2. "They're all finance people." When introducing Taylor, Peter, Nate, and Nate's friend, all of whom are not finance people, but I connected the finance with the fact that I met them through Ibanga who is a "finance person." Peter later came up and said, Claudia, I have a problem with you saying we're finance people, that's not the case at all, I am a musician.

3. "This is Charlie, my neighbor," over and over again when introducing the poor boy. I should've said this is Charlie my friend, haha but my crazy brain pulled "neighbor" out of the bag first. Can't blame me Charlie, though, right? I mean what are you really to me? yes, a "friend" i suppose :-).

4. 'I love you" to everyone and their mothers, including Christine the waitress.

5. Also, a certian piece of info i ended up telling Christine and lots of other people that I probably would've kept secret and not blown out of proportion otherwise.

Geeze, when you try to be a lady. There's a reason I stopped drinking.

Lately I have been saying some things I am not proud of, even when not under the influence. I have gotten in this drama funk that I don't like. Drama in my life has been abounding and I don't like it at all. I want peace. I don't want to try to figure people out, to try to prove myself, to deal with dating a guy, worry about physical illness, or the way one slice of bread will affect my appearance because i am so nervous about taking my new publicity photos, or any other mess. If I have treated you un-good-personly in the past five months, please forgive me, as I have been acting out of character at times, due to the increase of stress and drama. certain drama in particular inolving crazy phone calls to Amanda and Lindsey.

Also, I want to start practicing what the Kabbalists call Equanimity. Equanimity, Lovingkindness, and Moderation.

I want to return to my regular grounded, composed, holistic, and level headed, self.

So I will start by listening more....
So if you need an ear, I am here, my show has closed, and I now have time.